North Ridge Summer Fair All-Star Wiffleball Game One Of The Best Yet

For veterans of the North Ridge Wiffleball Association (NRWA), the annual All-Star Wiffleball Game, held in conjunction with the annual North Ridge Summer Fair, is one of the marquee games of the season. And, with new talent loading the field, the annual game produced one of the best nail-biters in the history of the NRWA.

About 100 fans showed up for the game that featured 16 of the best adult wiffleballers that North Ridge has to offer.

"Oh" Sheila Bixby captained the North Stars, while Jodi "All-Star" Morrow took command of the Ridge Runners. George "Tic Toc" Teague, unable to play due to surgery, was the official scorekeeper and team picker for the night.

Raf "Big Enchilada" Calzada started on the mound for the North Stars, going about two innings of scoreless pitching before Buster Ets, the NRWA 2005 MVP, took over for him. The two held the Ridge Runners to only three or four hits through six innings. On the other bench, AJ "Pedro" Somma was a pitching machine for the Ridge Runners, but found his team entering the sixth inning one run down, 1-0, due to the speedy running of Chris "Tom" Morrow, a candidate for the NRWA 2007 MVP.

Up until this point, all bets were off on who would win the game, but thanks to awesome base running by Pedro the Ridge Runners were able to tie the game in the top of the seventh. Then the explosion started. Back-to-back homers by Mike "Schmidtty" George and C-mo Moran in the eighth lifted the Ridge Runners to a 3-1 lead.

Shaken by the inning, Buster Ets felt a need to take cheesecake to the mound for the start of the ninth. It would prove to be a costly mistake.

"Once we saw him stuffing cheesecake into his mouth while on the mound," said Mike "Petey Rose" Evertson, "we knew he was going soft. Al Bundy wouldn't do something like that if he played wiffleball, so I was surprised when I saw Buster do that. I thought Buster was a lot like Bundy, but maybe he isn't after that incident."

With the top of the order at the plate, the Ridge Runners quickly loaded the bases after a "Petey Rose" Evertson triple that included a head-first dive into the base, knocking third-basewomen "Oh" Sheila Bixby into foul territory. With things heating up, Jodi "All-Star" Morrow found her way to second base during her next at bat, but strong defense by Uncle Fester Adams held "Petey Rose" at third. "Schmidtty" George singled next to load the bases for C-mo.

Buster Ets stuffed some more cheesecake into his mouth, and it appeared to give him some level of comfort as he caught C-mo swinging at a ball low and away. After a chuckle from the mound, C-mo converted to his cross-over step swing and powered a grand slam out of left field to give the Ridge Runners an instant 7-1 lead.

With the air leaking out of the North Stars' balloon, Buster Ets was immediately replaced on the mound by rookie "Uncle Fester" Adams. Normally, Kevin "Bread Dip" Bixby would be the replacement pitcher, but he was at the beach. Plus, as many pointed out, Uncle Fester has two good knees and is in a better position to play wiffleball than Bread Dip is.

With a strong lead, and the talented pitching of AJ "Pedro" Somma, aka The Pitching Machine, the Ridge Runners entered the bottom of the ninth with tons of confidence, and thus made short-order of the North Star batters.

Defensively, Mike "Schmidtty" George was voted as the Golden Glover of the night by the North Ridge Sports Writers Association. Schmidtty made a number of ESPN-highlight-type catches at third base in addition to having a strong slugging percentage. Not only did he patrol third base, but on occassion he covered left field when Deb "Ooopps" Somma got nervous as fly pops approached her area of the field.

Offensively, since C-Mo writes for North Ridge Buzz and thus controls the North Ridge Sports Writers Association, he voted himself as the offensive MVP. But after going 4-for-5 including a grand slam and a homerun for 5 RBIs, he probably deserves it.

It should be noted that last year's league MVP Trish "Chili Peppa" Calzada did not suit up for the game. Her designer uniform was not ready in time. Also, L-mo Moran along with Bread Dip Bixby and George "Tic Toc" Teague continued to be on the disabled list due to surgeries. Also, Dave "Engelberg" Orr is yet to make his 2007 debut. Engelberg is thought to be one of the stars of the Bad News Bears, although that is only a rumor.

North Stars

Chris Thomas
Buster Ets
Uncle Fester Adams
"Oh" Sheila Bixby
Chris "Tom" Morrow
Jack "Boston" Connolly
Raf "Big Enchilada" Calzada

Joe Koslosky

Ridge Runners

Brad "Feelin' Good" Fuller
Mike "Schmidtty" George
Dave "Nascar" Jones
C-mo Moran
Jodi "All-Star" Moran
Deb "Oopps" Somma
AJ "Pedro" Somma
Mike "Petey Rose" Evertson

Jones defends North Ridge Summer Fair Lawn Tractor Championship

(Photo caption: Dave "Nascar" Jones sits on his championship-winning John Deere Lawn Tractor after beating Brad "Feelin' Good" Fuller, Mike "Fishy" Frutsche, Chris "Tom" Morrow, and the Masked Wiffleball Man.)


It was a new course and a new format. But for veteran lawn tractor racer Dave Jones, it was the same result: a championship.

But, the championship didn't come without some anxious moments for Jones, who many thought was out of contention for the championship from the start.

With the new format, a staggered start was used to make the finish more exciting. More specifically, the new format was designed to give Dave "Engelberg" Orr's Snapper a fighting chance. The result was an exciting finish.

However, Engelberg opted to use a replacement driver for his Snapper. Filling in for Engelberg was the Masked Wiffleball Man.

"This was part of our strategy," Engelberg said. "The Masked Wiffleball Man, who doesn't understand English, appears to be more streamline and creates less drag as he races. The only problem was that he couldn't figure out how to use a clutch and a brake."

The Engelberg Snapper started first. Then 90 seconds later the other competitors started.

"I was nevered worried about the new format," said Jones. "I'm a professional lawn tractor racer and had total confidence during the race."

But fans lining the course weren't too sure. Jones got off to a slow start and appeared out of contention as the second wave of drivers rounded the first corner as Chris "Tom" Morrow, Brad "Feelin' Good" Fuller, and Mike "Fishy" Frutsche pressed for the lead.

About halfway through the race, Jones decided to take control of the second wave and make a push to catch the Masked Wiffleball Man on the Engelberg Snapper.

"It was part of my race strategy," he said. "I figured I'd hang in the back and conserve energy. Meanwhile, my competition would think that I was toast. But then I'd shift it into 5th, blow past them, and crush their hopes."

And, that's exactly what Jones did.

Jones quickly caught Fishy and Feelin' Good when he started to execute his plan. Morrow was a different story, but with two turns left to go, Jones caught him too. Now it was an all-out sprint to catch the Masked Wiffleball Man. And, with about 20 yards to go, Jones rushed past the Snapper to take home yet another North Ridge Summer Fair Lawn Tractor Championship.

George "Tic Toc" Teague, who was the official timer, clocked Jones with an overall time of 5:20 including the 90 second lead for the Snapper. The Masked Wiffleball Man came in at 5:26.

Morrow was the next to cross the finish line, taking home 3rd in 5:30. Fishy was next in with a 5:44, while Feelin' Good rounded out the race with a 5:47.

One fan watching the race said, "Nascar Jones just toyed with them. You can see a difference between the pros and the amateurs."

2007 Results

Dave "Nascar" Jones, 5:20

The Masked Wiffleball Man, 5:26

Chris "Tom" Morrow, 5:30

Mike "Fishy" Frutsche, 5:44

Brad "Feelin' Good" Fuller, 5:47

Hall of Champions

2005: Chris "Tom" Morrow

2006: Dave "Nascar" Jones

2007: Dave "Nascar" Jones



Upcoming North Ridge Summer Fair Feature Stories

All-Star Wiffleball Game A Nail Biter

One Man's Shed, A Neighborhood Dream Come True

Uncle Fester: Is He The Next Bread-dip Bixby?